I was recently informed that my characters fall unconscious far to
easily. My response? They've got glass jaws!! THEY'VE ALL GOT GLASS
JAWS!! YAHAHAHA! After the nice men in the white coats gave me something
to calm me down, I sat back and considered. The informant was, in fact
correct. My characters do, unfortunately, fall unconscious quite a bit.
In the future I will try to restrain myself. At least they're not walking
out of nuclear explosions. =)
And...we're in the double digits! We're in the double digits! HAHAHA-
HAHaHaHaHahahahahaha!! Heh. Be afraid. And yes, I do realize that around
the middle of the issue Brit must be moving pretty fast to get from scene
to scene like she does. Consider it her daily exercize workout.
Much thankings for reviews guys:
Pam VanMuijen
Jamas Enright
H. Jameel al Khafiz
Ian Porell
=========================================================================
DERELICT Press Presents
The tenth issue of
/~~\/~~\ {] /~~\ (^^^ || ***** /~~\
/ /\/\ \ [) ~\__ (^^ || ,' ~\__
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" Clearing the Air "
A psuedo-Acraphobe title
._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.'COVER`._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.
Paytan's sword, Dirmarw lies in the middle of the cover. The
pavement underneath it is shattered and cracked. The vague shadow of a
motorbike is cast along the bottom of the cover.
)()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Fuzzy stood up as soon as the flight.thingee touched down back at
LNHHQ, stomping out of the vehicle and back inside the building angrily.
Paytan folllowed, silent and expressionless, heading in the same
direction that Fuzzy had at a more measured pace. Faq Boy tried to go
after her, but Brit managed to get in his way before he could go more
than a few feet, trapping him in an in-depth analysis of the life-span of
jellybeans. California Kid and Entropy Kid left the flight.thingee and
headed back off to the cafeteria in relief. They, at least, hadn't had to
survive the half-hour long speech that Brittany did. Fuzzy had expounded
on subjects ranging from criminal destruction to insanity to how much she
was going to hurt everyone in her immediate area, among other things.
Brittany had spent the rest of her time frantically trying to
keep Faq Boy away from Paytan, who was sitting very quietly in the corner
and staring expressionlessly out of a window. Brit knew what Paytan was
like when she was mad. She yelled a lot and broke stuff, and tried to
kill people. One always knew where she stood on things. This quiet
sitting thing just wasn't something Paytan went in for. Which either
meant she wasn't angry at all, or that she was beyond angry. Brittany
really didn't want to see what would happen to Faq Boy if he tried to
make a move on Paytan when she was beyond angry.
Then, as an added plus, Savannah had woken up halfway back and
begun to brood. She stared out the window, clenched her fists, muttered,
and wrinkles became very prominent on her forehead. All the classic
signs, except maybe screaming at the heavens. Unfortunately Brit
couldn't ask her what was wrong, because she was busy trapping Faq Boy
into a discussion about major league baseball features, hampered slightly
by the fact that she knew nothing about baseball.
Overall, it had been an uncomfortable trip back.
-=ð=- -=ð=-
Savannah stumbled towards her room slowly, feet shuffling across
the ground. She felt horrible. Yet another battle where she'd been unable
to help. She had knocked out that one girl, but still...
She reached her room without tripping over anything too badly,
then fumbled at the doorknob and shuffled in. Once she was in her room
she was safe. She'd organized it so she knew exactly where everything
was. She could walk through it and get everything she needed with her
eyes closed, which is what she did most of the time. It was great when
you knew you wouldn't go sprawling in the next few minutes, or knock your
shin against yet another table. Savannah pulled a red shoebox off one of
her shelves, then sat crosslegged on her bed and pulled off the top.
Inside were twenty or thirty objects. Anything from bits of
string to little toy cars to ball bearings. She grabbed about five random
ojects and tossed them over her shoulder. Then she turned and began to
look for them. Focus. Unfocus. She tried to let her gaze glide and dart
over things like other people's did, instead of taking in every detail in
between point A and B. Practice, that was the key. Always practice.
Unfocus, try to widen one's vision. Look, just look.
She hated not knowing what was going on around her. Trusting luck
to keep her from getting attacked from behind, or off to the sides, or
from anywhere she wasn't looking at at the moment. But moping wasn't
going to fix anything. It never did, really. She didn't want to be like
this for the rest of her life. So what if everybody thought she was shy,
or just didn't want to talk to people. She'd talk to people later, when
she didn't have to stare at them so intently that they ran screaming from
her prescence. She was going to fix things.
And if practicing was what it took, then Savannah Ramey was going
to practice every chance she got.
-=ð=- -=ð=-
Paytan took the stairs up to the roof at a slow and measured
pace, Dirmarw clasped tightly in one hand. Her face was emotionless, and
her eyes were rock hard. Inside her head the sword spoke, yelled and
pleaded and was utterly ignored.
Paytan! Stop this instant, girl!! Do you think I will still help
you after this? Do you? I _had_ to take control of your body - it was for
your own good. We needed the power, and if that scheming little rat
Weirdness Girl hadn't gotten in the way we would have had it, too!! Don't
you want to stay sane, Paytan? Don't you?
Paytan kept walking, taking the steps one at a time. She reached
the service door that opened out onto the roof and grabbed the handle.
The cold metal knob turned under her hand, and she opened the door
smoothly, pausing for a moment when she stepped out onto the roof.
I won't wipe your memories again, I won't heal you again, if you
don't stop this Paytan! You need me. You need me! Don't do this!!
She walked slowly to the edge of the roof and stepped up onto it,
looking downwards for a moment at the pavement far below, then up at the
clouds moving slowly across the sky.
No Paytan! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, she was just right in
front of me and I couldn't - No! PLEASE! I need you Paytan. I won't do
that ever again! I swear to you on the souls of my people -
" Your people will rot, Dirmarw." Paytan stood atop the HQ and
looked out over the city for a long silent moment. Then she drew back her
arm and hurled the sword out over the edge of the building.
The sword screamed inside her head, sun flashing for a split
second against its blade as it fell, spinning through empty space. When
it hit the sidewalk below, the cement shattered and cracked, the sword
ricocheting off it and back into the air, only to land again with a loud
clatter, its screams growing dimmer and dimmer in Paytan's mind as she
blocked it out.
" I forsake you and all that you are, Dirmarw. Your quest is no
longer my quest. My blood is no longer yours. The vows are broken. You
promised, you stupid piece of metal! You promised never to do anything
like that to me without my permission!" She turned and ran back
downstairs.
-=ð=- -=ð=-
" Hey Brittany!" yelled the receptionist. Brit turned and waved.
" Hi Kyoko! How's everything going? Have you seen Paytan
anywhere?"
" I'm fine, thanks. I saw Paytan a while ago - she headed
upstairs, I think. Someone left a big package for you out front. If you
open it and its a big statue, _don't_ look at it okay?"
" Okay Kyoko. Thanks!" Brittany wnet outside through the HQ's two
main doors. There was a large crate at the top of the building's stone
steps, about as tall as Brittany herself, and maybe five to seven feet
long. Brit poked at it experimentally, but nothing exploded or tried to
kill her so she went around to the other side of the crate in search of
the return address label. Wyoming. Specifically a small farm in Wyoming,
owned by Bob and JoDean Reeves.
Uncle Bob must have gotten her letter after all, thought Brit as
she wandered back inside to fetch a crowbar. Aunt JoDean couldn't have
driven home this quickly and managed to get a package back too. Brit
grinned then went back inside for a sec.
" Hey, Kyoko! Do you have a crowbar handy? Anything I can pry the
crate open with?"
" You're sure its not a statue? We don't need another frozen
hero."
" I'm positive. Its from family."
" Oh, okay then. Yeah, here's one. I'm going to take my lunch
break, so when you come back in just put it in the bottom left drawer,
next to the riot gear, okay?"
" Will do," said Brit. She wondered idly exactly what else the
various LNH receptionists kept in the drawers of that big desk, then
shrugged and filed the thought under Things I Am Probably Not Meant To
Know. After a few minutes of grunting and prying, one side of the crate
fell away with a crash. Brit ducked her head and looked inside.
" Whoa," she fell to her knees and slid her hands lightly over
the machine. She knew her Aunt and Uncle were glad that she'd joined the
LNH, but this was just beyond what she'd expexted them to do. It was
speed given form and trapped within the gleaming black confines of a
metal frame. It was beautiful, and evidently it was now hers.
A long time ago, her Aunt and Uncle had been... well, not exactly
superheroes. More like weird vigilante types. And during one of their
daring escapes from one evil group or another, they'd snatched two
hovercycles. Aunt JoDean used hers for errand runs when she didn't need
the station wagon to carry anything big back with her. But Uncle Bob, in
classic Uncle Bob fashion, had souped up his with all the technology he
could find, then left it to gather dust in the corner. The machine in
front of her now was what used to be Uncle Bob's hovercycle.
It had compartments galore, and two massive cableguns on the
front. Headlights bright enough to shame the sun, but with a handy dimmer
switch on the dashboard. Now that she looked at it, there were a lot of
switches on the dashboard. A lot a lot. Most of them with totally
illogical names and functions. Oh well, she was sure she'd figure them
all out eventually. Brit spotted the massive envelope taped to the seat
and grabbed it. Not having a letter opener on hand she tore the thing
to shreds, causing a massive booklet to thump into her lap, and a sheet
of paper to flutter gently to the ground. Brit picked up the sheet of
paper and unfolded it.
Dear Brittany,
Hey kid! It's your Uncle Bob here. I'm trying to improve one
of my prototypes and your Aunt's gone off again somewhere, so I'm
the only one to reply to your letter. I'm sure she sends her love.
It's good to hear Savannah's alright - we were worried about her
for a while. So you're a superhero now, huh? Good going Brit,
that's a way to make something of your life! I remember when I was
younger... you should have seen some of the things your Aunt and I
pulled off! But I'm sure you've already heard those old stories
hundreds of times.
Anyways, as soon as I heard about you and the LNH, I thought
of my old hovercycle. Seems like the perfect thing to get around
in, when you're not using one of those flight.thingees the LNH's
got, eh? I've included the instruction manual in case you want it,
but really, you can pretty much drive the cycle by instinct. Good
luck honey, and have fun!
Love and Kisses,
Your Uncle Bob
P.S. I've sent Tim's letter on to your Great Aunt Helga, and I'm
sure she'll have gotten it by the time you read this.
Brit smiled and folded up the letter. Always count on Uncle Bob
to come up with something like this. She carefully slid the letter into
her sock, then put the massive instruction manual into the compartment
nearest the dashboard. Now, where could she put the hovercycle? Did the
LNHHQ even _have_ a garage? Luckily Uncle Bob had put the cycle on a
dolly of sorts, and she was able to wheel it out of the crate without
having to figure out how one turned it on.
The sun gleamed off its length, and Brit stopped for a second
just to admire it. Then she sighed and kept on wheeling it towards the
parking lot. One assumed the garage would be near the parking lot, at
least. After a few minutes of the dolly wheeling sqeakily beside her Brit
rounded a corner to see the parking lot spread out in front of her. She
spotted a large shed leaning against the building, just of the side of
the lot, and wheeled her cycle over there. The doors were barred, but the
padlock hadn't been closed in so long it was rusted open. Brittany
wrestled the bar out of it's braces and dragged one of the shed's wooden
doors open.
Inside were bits and pieces of motors, broken wings and wheel
struts. Cans of oil were stacked neatly against the wall, and there was a
tremendous array of wrenches in an open toolbox. But there was a lot of
open space too, so Brit wheeled the cycle over to a wall, grabbbed a tarp
and flung it over the machine. Then she grabbed a post-it note and a pen,
scribbled someting onto it, and stuck that onto the tarp.
Touch this and feel the wrath of Binky.
Ask permission for use from
Weirdness Girl.
She turned around to leave, thoughts of dinner prominent in her
mind, then stopped. Over in the corner was the dessicated shell of an
LNH helicopter, left over from one adventure or another. It looked like
it hadn't been touched in years. Brit sighed, then went over and leaned
against it. One of the men in the helicopter that had been chasing them
had died. She'd kind of managed to half forget, but still...
Savannah would have been crushed if she knew she was indirectly
responsible for someone's death, even if that someone had been trying to
kill her, but Brit didn't think that her cousin had noticed. Unless she'd
been looking right at the crash, Savannah probably figured both the men
had gotten away. That was good too, as her cuz evidently had enough to
brood about already.
Brit herself didn't really feel all that guilty. The guy, after
all, had been attempting to kill them. She sighed. But that didn't mean
she was going to dance over his grave in glee, either. This superheroing
thing was fun after all, and she did enjoy herself, but if that meant
getting people killed then she'd have to start watching herself more
closely. She'd never forgive herself if an innocent bystander got nailed
just because they were chasing some villain.
People didn't deserve to get hurt just because they were in the
wrong place at the wrong time. People _never_ deserved to get hurt
becuase of that. Never. Brittany closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer
to Binky asking him to give her the foresight and alertness necessary to
keep anyone from being hurt as an unintended result of her actions. Then
she stood and left the shed, closing the door carefully behind her.
Now if only she could find Paytan... hello! Brit ran over to the
thing lying on the pavement nearby. The pavement lay shattered around the
sword, and a thin coating of cement dust coated everything in the
immediate area. It was Dirmarw, gleaming pale in the setting sun. Brit
crouched near the sword then squinted up towards the roof of the
building. Paytan must have thrown him from the roof.
Brit rocked back on her heels and looked at the sword again. If
it was trying to say anything to her she couldn't hear it. Paytan had
muttered something about sharing blood and bonds when she's asked her a
while back. Well, Brit certainly wasn't going to stab herself with the
sword just to hear what it was thinking at her. She frowned and grabbed
it by the hilt, looking at it consideringly. Clearly, what it had done to
her friend had afffected her most seriously. Brit's eyebrows drew
together and her frown grew deeper. Then her face cleared, and she smiled
down at the sword sweetly, then brought it up to her mouth.
" If you ever, ever do that to my friend again," she whispered,"
I'll destroy you. I'll break you into a thousand tiny pieces and bury
each of them hundreds of miles away from each other. I'll send bits into
orbit, and melt others down into silverware. You wouldn't make a very
imposing spoon, belive me."
The sword grew chill in her hand, and Brit smiled coldly at it
for a minute, letting the threat sink in.
" But she needs you as much as you need her. So I'm not going to
do anything. Yet. But if you even think of doing anything like that
again...well, I'll be right there, won't I?"
The sword got even colder in her hand, and Brit could swear it
shivered. Then she stood and went back inside, taking the sword with her.
-=ð=- -=ð=-
Paytan was inside her room, alone. She had all the lights off,
and the curtains closed, so the place looked incredibly dark. She was
sitting in one of the kitchinette's chairs, rocking slowly back and
forth, when someone knocked on her door. Paytan growled and got up,
kicking the trashcan across the room when it got in her way.
" Who is it?!"
" Guess!"
" Brittany, I'm not in the mood for this sort of thing just now,"
growled Paytan as she swung open the door. Brit dropped her gaze to the
ground.
" Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted any company."
" No. I don't."
Brit looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. They both fell
silent for a moment and Paytan began to pick at the door's wood paneling.
"I found Dirmarw," said Brit quietly. Paytan looked down quickly.
" So?"
" I thought you lost him, so I put him away in my closet. I know
you don't want him back now, but I don't know what else to do with him,
so I think I'll leave him there. Just so you know."
Brit turned to leave, pausing briefly to look back at her friend.
Paytan continued looking downwards, picking at the door.
" Thanks," she said. Brit nodded.
" You're welcome."
-=ð=- -=ð=-
It came upon him very suddenly in the kitchen.
" So, what do you have to say for yourself?" asked the voice,
surprising Cheesecake-Eater Lad, and almost making him drop his latest
creation. He spun around, but most of the kitchen lights were off and the
area in which the stranger lurked was covered in shadows.
" Wh-who's there?"
" You cad! Leaving my dearest all alone in the kitchen after you
promised me you'd watch him! Did you think Binky would appreciate being
abandoned? You left him ALL ALONE! It's a wonder you haven't been cursed
yet, or felt his wrath in some other new and interestingly creative
cosmic power-like way! Ha!" laughed Brittany as she emerged from the
shadows, in full costume with fish/cosmic power in hand. Binky didn't
look to upset, but Brit was certainly getting into it. "You will rue the
day you were born, Cheesecake!! Be afraid! Wherever you walk, wherever
you go, there I shall be too sometimes, and I will laugh at you and play
embarrassing and cliched practical jokes! THIS is the punishment one such
as you deserves! This - "
" Uh, wait, can we just talk about this?"
" NO. Not after what you've done to my precious!" snickered
Brittany, doing an impressive imitation of Golem. Then she faded back
into the shadows and was gone. C-EL looked after her for a moment then
roled his eyes.
" Never a dull moment, I guess," he sighed, and turned to frost
his cheesecake. A piece of paper had been carefully taped to his back.
Upon it the words Bake Me had been neatly printed.
-=ð=- -=ð=-
The hall was silent in the evening air, but for the faint chiming
of the strings of brass beads that hung across the doorway. The pale opal
tiles were edged in silver, and the reflection of the setting sun shone
beautifully in them. Giant glass pillars held up the arched ceiling,
refracting the light and splashing cascades of rainbows across the room.
In the corner a vase made of purple stone run through with white held a
stunning array of flowers. In the distance a colossal red sun sank
beneath the horizon, lighting up the yellow sky. It was not a very
beautiful sunset, but then there wasn't any smog or smoke to help it
along.
Suddenly the beads on the doorway were tossed aside, ringing
dissonately in the evening air. A stunningly beautiful girl tore through
the room, bare feet thudding loudly against the tiles. She wore loose
brown pants gathered in at the ankle, and a billowing white peasant's
blouse, edged in green. Deep blond hair swirled behind her as she ran,
at least as long as her waist. Her brows would have arched elegantly had
they not been drawn in together in concentration over a set of deeply
emerald green eyes. But perhaps the most surprising aspects of her
appearance were the pair of massive metal wings that arched away from her
shoulder blades.
They looked to be made of pure gold, yet they didn't seem to
weigh her down as she ran. Each feather was as detailed as any of it's
more real fellows could be, and each shone golden in the light. Tied
carefully between her two wings and covered by her hair was a brown
travelling satchel. She raced between the glass pillars and out onto the
grass, sun glittering and sparkling across her wings. Twenty yards away
from the edge of the hall, the grass stopped abruptly, as did the rest of
ground, leaving only open air. The girl kept running until she reached
the edge, throwing herself off of it, her wings unfolding into vast
eagle's stretches of metal.
Beneath her there was nothing but air. The land she had jumped
off of was an incredibly tall pillar of stone, and the ground itself was
miles beneath her. Caves dotted the pillar's cliff face, and there were
more pillars in the distance, rising towards the sky. The girl turned and
folded her wings, diving towards one of the cave openings.
She was inside seconds later, backwinging and landing lightly on
the ground. The motion of her wings had kicked up centuries old dust, and
she coughed spasmically until it settled again. Silence fell, but it was
a heavy silence, full of ancient secrets and a faint thrumming repeated
over and over at just below hearing level. The girl shook her head and
coughed again, frowning.
" I like this not a whit," she muttered, and continued forwards
cautiously. The last time she'd been here it had been early morning and
the sun had shone directly into the cave's mouth, piercing the darkness.
Now she couldn't even see her own hand in front of her face.
Unfortunately she hadn't thought to bring a light, and she didn't have
time to go back, not if she wanted to get away cleanly. Oh well, only one
thing to do.
It should be around here somewhere...It was as clear as day when
she last saw it, one of her ancestor's lost artifacts, a massive circular
portal opening blackly into Somewhere Else. Now where could it have gone
- YIKE!
She felt herself falling, opening her wings in a panic, trying to
break her descent. Everything was ice cold and empty, and then suddenly
she was wrenched upwards, and thrown head over heels into the light.
She came to sprawled on a strange kind of black rock. When she
sat up and managed to get a look around, she found her surroundings even
more amazing. The black rock she sat on was actually a long strip,
borbered by large grey buildings with small windows. But nearby something
had shattered the rock, and chunks of it were scattered around. She
turned to look at the sign directly in front of her, squinting as she
made the words out. Hans's Nifty Collectibles, Net.ropolis Branch. Maybe
this was the name of the place she was right now? There were garish
orange cones and strips of an orange material scattered around, blocking
off the area of shattered rock. In the distance, some strange fast animal
than moved very low to the ground screeched around a corner, making loud
noises at another slightly different creature.
The girl raised an eyebrow, then smiled slightly.
Net.ropolis had just gained another superhuman.
_________________________________________________________________________
Binky, Dirmarw, Out-of-It Lass, Perdition, Weirdness Girl, copyright
Jennifer Whitson, 1995. California Kid is Public Domain. Entropy Kid is
Public Domain. Fuzzy is Public Domain. Faq Boy is Jamas Enright's, and
used with permission. Cheesecake-Eater Lad is Public Domain. Kyoko is
Public Domain.
NEXT ISSUE:
Ooooo, visitors. Or visitor. Or visitorette. Is she friend? Is she
enemy? Or just some chick with wings?
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------
.sig is living in jungle with pack of wolves and refuses to come back.
