Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2 to (??)
posted by Arthur Spitzer on 2007-04-08 22:58
Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2 to (??) 8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table. Strapped down to the table was what appeared to be a big lizard. A Komodo Dragon. Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those brain-transferring helmets. Various wires were also inserted into him. Right above him stood the leader of the cult. The cult leader's hands held a severed goat's head dripping with blood. The blood dripped down onto the body of the komodo dragon. The rest of the cultists were chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again. The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high. "You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!! No. You are now and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!! You shall become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school. Yes. Hindu children. Moslem children. Buddhist children. Even Atheist children. And..." "Enough!" Suddenly the cellar door burst open. The cultists looked up to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual. "Secular Humanists!! No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!! No More!! It is Time. Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!" The Preacher then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head. The goat head fell and the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand. "No!" the head cultist screamed. "You're interfering with out right to..." But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of flour. The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine. And when the last cultist fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. "You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! Free once more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter." And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of appreciation. He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and put it back on his head. And then he proceeded to rip out the throats of all of the Secular Humanist cult members. //////*\\\\\\//////*\\\\\\//////*\\\\\\**//////*\\\\\\//////*\\\\\\ Writer's Notes: Yeah this was in LNHCP #43... Just figured I'd repost it as Eggplant #2... just to show that cool Will Ego's graphic again... Arthur "Sacrilegious" Spitzer