LNH Archives

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #14: The Ame.rec.an Dream

2007-10-03T00:29:52+00:00

~SEVERAL MONTHS AGO...~

Kid Recap was just leaving the LNH HQ when the postman began walking up the path with a large wooden crate. Feeling helpful, Kid Recap went to greet him.

"Hi! Can I help you there, sir?"

"Ah - hi - yes, uh... I have a crate here. It's simply addressed to 'Ame.rec.a'. I was instructed to, uh, bring it here?"

Kid Recap regarded the box suspiciously. "Hrm. It doesn't look dangerous. I guess we open it."

The postman and Kid Recap each grabbed different edges of a side of ...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #11: Q3 - The Path To Greatness

2007-05-03T08:23:51+00:00

With the hectic ILC now being more-or-less complete, I shall now
return you to your regular-ish reading schedule of Alt.stralian Yarns,
on today, the 3rd of May, being Crouchmas!! /google

~~-----*-----~~

"...and that," Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man concluded, "was how
the legendary Duo Contempo was formed."

The crowd that had assembled to hear the tales of his adopted son,
Contempo Weapons Lad (and by extension CWLad's sidekick, Obsessive-
Compulsive Boy) nodded in a manner that suggested that they were
indeed satisfied with this story.

"But," some exceptionally random bystander said, "I thought that the
...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #10: Q2 - Tenth Issue Spectacular! With Juxtaposition!

2007-03-31T10:11:22+00:00

In Alt.stralian Yarns #9, Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man's adopted son, Contempo Weapons Lad, left the family farm to become a net.hero. Heeding his fathers advice, he joined his Aunt Boris' Super Duper Awesome Team Force Go, only to become the only surviving member of the team after they were sent to remove a really very small piece of seaweed from the ocean. Finally returning to Super Duper's HQ in Bris.bit, Contempo Weapons Lad is met by a whole bunch of media and people who are a bit confused as to what's going on...

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #10 Q2 - Tenth Issue Spectacular! With Juxtaposition! By Mitchell Crouch

...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #9: Q1 - Super Duper Awesome Team Force Go!

2007-03-15T06:52:20+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #9
Q1 - Super Duper Awesome Team Force Go!
by Mitchell Crouch

----------

~ * MANY YEARS BEFORE THE EVENTS IN ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #1 *~

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man looked up at the sound of a loud
bark to see his adopted son (mentioned in Yarns #6) jump out of his
ute with a cattle dog.

"Oi mate," he called out as he began to walk towards the ute. "What's
all this, eh? We don't need a bluddy dog."

...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #7: Whack Whack Ka-Boom Ahoy

2007-02-16T05:52:20+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #7 Whack Whack Ka-Boom Ahoy by Mitchell Crouch

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man swung the crowbar and smashed the planks of wood that holed up the old, abandoned, and conveniently local Castle Hardware store. One of many that had gone bust after his cousin, City-Slicker Gent, had failed to properly represent Mr. Steve Spingles, the owner of said hardware stores, who had recently assumed the supervillain identity of the Screwball. None of that would be so bad, if it weren't for the fact that the Screwball had apparently kidnapped City-Slicker Gent's missus, and that now the Gent himself was missing, along with Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man's own best ...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #5: The Climactic Five-Issue Battle

2007-01-15T04:58:22+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #5 THE CLIMACTIC FIVE-ISSUE BATTLE by Mitchell Crouch

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man rounded a corner to see his third-cousin, City-Slicker Gent, beating the living daylights out of an otherwise inconspicuous farmer. Shaking his head, he ignored the fight and walked up the road, towards the town hall.

As he got closer, he was able to make out the hands on the massive (for an outback town) clock tower, as well the gigantic hulkhen on top of it.

...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #3: I'm Only Half-Written!

2006-11-29T21:40:26+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #3 - 'I'm Only Half-Written!' by Mitchell Crouch

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man dawdled up to the ruins of his generations-old farmhouse. Nothing like a stampeding squad of hulkhens to get the morning started. He looked over the wreckage, and then turned to squint at the way they had gone. If it was his lucky day, which apparently it wasn't, they wouldn't let the supersteer out.

He turned his attention back to his sobbing third cousin, City-Slicker Gent, as he dug desperately through the rubble.

"Prob'ly not a good idea, mate," the fantastical farmer drawled.

...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #2: By Popular Demand

2006-10-31T08:29:18+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #2 - 'By Popular Demand' by Mitchell Crouch

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man leant against his favourite blue gum, and looked out over his flock of free-range hens. Lately, some feral foxes had been attacking the flock. City-Slicker Gent and his missus still hadn't woken up, so he took the first couple of hours off this morning to keep an eye on them.

His prime rooster stood at the opening of a massive trench that faced eastwards, and cock-a-doodle-dooed at the rising sun. The powerful sonic blast ripped through the trench, flattening the sides and destroying an earthworm foolish enough to pop its head out at the wrong time. ...

LNH: Alt.stralian Yarns #1: On the Matter of Locks

2006-10-16T15:28:52+00:00

ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #1 On the Matter of Locks by Mitchell Crouch

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man looked up from the piece of paper he held in his grubby hands. He looked from City Slicker Gent to his missus and back again.

He sighed, and looked back down to the family tree. "Fird cousins ya reckon, mate?"

"Yes. See, if you follow your Uncle ...