LNH Archives
Recent stories in the LNH archives
2008-06-08T07:10:59+00:00http://www.lnhq.info/archives/+atom/img/lnh-icon.png"/img/lnh-icon.png"PicoCMSLNH: 58.5 #44 This One Written By The Lalo From Evilversehttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/442008-06-08T07:10:59+00:002008-06-08T07:10:59+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>It's April 385th. For 19 days, Cannon Fodder has been crossing
universes, looking for the one the Xinerama Brotherhood uses as
their base of operations. The New Misfits have been searching
for the Time Crapper, who apparently has the Ultimate Gnab, an
universe-killing weapon created by the Evilverse LNH. Pantra,
the foul-mouthed, badly-behaved leopard girl who came from the
future with some of the New Misfits, has been running with them,
apparently because it gives her "more things to hit". Oh, and
the leader of the New Misfits, Blackbird, has been captured by
the Evilverse equivalent of his group, called the Acla Fright,
and replaced by his own Evilversion, Deathbird. The Acla Fright
then proceeded to interrogate and kill him. Or so they thought.</p>
<blockquote>
=============================-=============================</blockquote>
<p>...</p>
LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes Vol.2 #27http://www.lnhq.info/archives/lnh-v2/272008-06-02T04:17:11+00:002008-06-02T04:17:11+00:00Saxon Brenton
<tt>[LNH] Legion of Net.Heroes Vol.2 #27<br/>
<br/>
Oh for crying out loud! It's... [facepalms] It's another talking ape story!<br/>
<br/>
___ ___________________________<br/>
| |-| \<br/>
| |-| [] / #27<br/>
| | | [] egion of \ 'Funky Monkeys' part 1<br/>
| | | []__ [] [] [] [] / (Intermezzo - Act 4)<br/>
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \ (A Beige Countdown tie-in)<br/>
| | | []\ ] [ __ ] /<br/>
| |-| [] [] [] [] \ written by and copyright 2008<br/>
| |-|___________________________/ Saxon Brenton<br/>
| | <br/>
| | <br/>
...</tt>
LNH: 58.5 #43 Coming Up With Bad Guys Is Not That Hardhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/432008-05-30T23:26:04+00:002008-05-30T23:26:04+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Twenty days ago, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a
Xinerama Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks
before that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest
criminal organization their world has ever seen, and <em>that</em> was
after repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.</p>
<p>But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood
is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack
again (Cannon Fodder went looking for them). The Ultimate Gnab,
the terrible Evilverse weapon which the Xinerama intended to
use, was stolen by a cloaked figure which we're assuming to be
the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed mortal enemy of the New
Misfits (who went looking for him.) And, worst of all, Pantra
decided it would be fun to stick around. OUCH, watch those
claws!
...</p>
LNH: Beige Countdown #10 (1/4)http://www.lnhq.info/archives/beige-countdown/102008-05-29T06:34:02+00:002008-05-29T06:34:02+00:00EDMLite
[Cover: Mynabird stands at the center of a star-dappled sky,<br/>
reaching toward a glowing light. Captain Continuity, Captain<br/>
Rat Creature, Minority Miss and Kid Kirby are rushing toward<br/>
him from the corners of the page].<br/>
<br/>
[Variant cover: Girlwatcher stares through the porthole of a<br/>
spaceship, watching Minority Miss smash a meteorite into<br/>
several pieces with one mighty blow].<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
[B E I G E]<br/>
*<br/>
1 2<br/>
*<br/>
1 1<br/>
...
LNH: 58.5 #42 Life, the Looniverse, and Everythinghttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/422008-05-25T07:39:46+00:002008-05-25T07:39:46+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Yesterday, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a Xinerama
Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks before
that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest criminal
organization their world has ever seen, and <em>that</em> was after
repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.</p>
<p>You'd imagine they'd be very busy now tapping each other in the
back, wouldn't you?</p>
<p>But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood
is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack
again. The Ultimate Gnab, the terrible Evilverse weapon which
the Xinerama intended to use, was stolen by a cloaked figure
which we're assuming to be the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed
mortal enemy of the New Misfits. (Yeah, go figure. We don't
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #41 Oh Yeah Baby Gnab Me Harderhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/412008-05-23T18:30:41+00:002008-05-23T18:30:41+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Back on Sunday, April 57th 2007, Cannon Fodder's and Innovative-
Offense Boy's enjoyment of a kiwis-versus-mind-controlled-
insects battle was interrupted by a strange figure. His skin
was a deep, but reflexive black, like an LCD screen when it's
off. For hair, he had three thick strands, running from his
eyebrows to the back of his neck; one red, one green, and one
blue. His eyes were red, and he had sideburns -- green on his
right side, blue on his left. He told them he was a rogue
member of the Xinerama Brotherhood, self-appointed guardians of
the Usenetverse, and that his brothers had decided to wipe out
the Looniverse, for its annoying insistence on using
alt.comics.lnh in addition to rec.arts.comics.creative.</p>
<p>Almost an year later, or what would be an year if April wasn't
dragging on indefinitely, on April 365th, he returned. Cannon
...</p>
LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes Vol.2 #26http://www.lnhq.info/archives/lnh-v2/262008-05-14T23:05:17+00:002008-05-14T23:05:17+00:00Saxon Brenton
<tt>[LNH] Legion of Net.Heroes Vol.2 #26<br/>
<br/>
___ ___________________________<br/>
| |-| \<br/>
| |-| [] / #26<br/>
| | | [] egion of \ 'Where Monsters Come From' <br/>
| | | []__ [] [] [] [] / (Intermezzo - Act 3) <br/>
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \ (A Beige Countdown tie-in) <br/>
| | | []\ ] [ __ ] /<br/>
| |-| [] [] [] [] \ written by and copyright 2008 <br/>
| |-|___________________________/ Saxon Brenton<br/>
| | <br/>
| | <br/>
| | <br/>
| | The cover shows a puppy, which has rolled over on his back and <br/>
...</tt>
LNH: 58.5 #40 Will I Really Destroy Everything?http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/402008-05-13T20:27:00+00:002008-05-13T20:27:00+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously in 58.5:</p>
<p>While in a campaign against the Crime Empire, the New Misfits
busted a vice den set up specially for comic book addicts; dark,
poorly-ventilated rooms, with shelves full of old issues turning
the whole place into a maze, pretty girls in costumes (well,
they look pretty in the dark, to comic junkies without a life)
serving pizza and soda, and paid trolls hanging around to
discuss the finer points of Mr. Fantastic's sex life or who'd
win in a fight between the Detective Chimp and Howard the Duck.</p>
<p>"Um", said the Amazing Amazon, "I'm not sure this is even
illegal, in fact it's kind of cool..."</p>
<p>"They don't serve Mr. Paprika", declared Blackbird. "That <em>has</em>
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #39 Yes I So *Can* Write Kid Recaphttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/392008-05-09T21:46:56+00:002008-05-09T21:46:56+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Hi! Kid Recap here. Funky numbering aside, this issue is more
or less the middle of the road for the series. So, the New
Misfits and Cannon Fodder asked me to set aside a few minutes
and bring you up to date on the story so far. If you're picking
up the series now, this is the best issue to start with. If
you're pondering whether to pick it up but intimidated by the
number, this one is for you. If you just want to recap and
refresh your memory -- and who doesn't love a recap? -- then by
all means enjoy it. If you did read everything up to now, maybe
more than once, and still have no clue what's going on, well
then, I guess this issue won't help too much, as it's exactly as
badly written as the rest. Sorry!</p>
<p>58.5 is a series of fiction stories in a shared universe called
"LNH", which stands for Legion of Net.Heroes, the premier
...</p>
Re: LNH: 58.5 #29 Look Ma I can Write Big Eventshttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/292008-05-07T14:27:56+00:002008-05-07T14:27:56+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>[gods, I suck, or something. Two months without posting and I
forget how to do it?]</p>
<p>In another plane of existence, a red-haired girl was intently
studying complex diagrams and practicing hand gestures. A
beast, larger and more terrible than most minds can cope with,
approached and looked at her with the pride of a master.</p>
<p>%YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED AT YOUR HOME WORLD IN A LONG TIME.%</p>
<p>"What's the point? I have much to do. And since we have
accelerated time here, every time I look it's more or less the
same thing." She didn't even look at him.</p>
<p>%IT'S NOT THE SAME THING NOW. YOU SHOULD LOOK.%
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #28http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/282008-05-04T03:54:45+00:002008-05-04T03:54:45+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously on 58.5:</p>
<p>Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 290 days.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance,
which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in
turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector
Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus).
...</p>
NTB/LNH: Beige Countdown #0: The Book of Deus ex Machinas! (Part 1/4)http://www.lnhq.info/archives/beige-countdown/02008-04-30T02:23:14+00:002008-04-30T02:23:14+00:00Arthur Spitzer
<tt>[Note for Readers: Read Beige Countdown #1 before you read this. This <br/>
is the last issue. Issue #12 is the first issue!]<br/>
<br/>
[Cover: A colorful tornado swallows a number of people dressed in <br/>
costumes and trenchcoats into a gigantic book. On the bottom in bold <br/>
letters is the text, 'THE COUNTDOWN ENDS HERE!!!!!']<br/>
<br/>
[B E I G E]<br/>
|<br/>
1 2<br/>
|<br/>
1 1<br/>
|<br/>
1 0<br/>
|<br/>
...</tt>
LNH: Beige Countdown #1: 'In the Palm of the HeartThrob'http://www.lnhq.info/archives/beige-countdown/12008-04-01T03:06:01+00:002008-04-01T03:06:01+00:00Arthur Spitzer
[Note for Readers: Read Beige Countdown #2 before you read this. <br/>
Unless there's no Beige Countdown #2 in which case you should probably <br/>
read this first.]<br/>
<br/>
[Cover: A female hand pops out of the Ultimate Ninja's chest holding <br/>
his heart. The Ultimate Ninja looks down with amazement.]<br/>
<br/>
[B E I G E]<br/>
|<br/>
1 2<br/>
|<br/>
1 1<br/>
|<br/>
1 0<br/>
|<br/>
...
LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #3: 'Beige Easter'http://www.lnhq.info/archives/eggplant-the-easter-miracle-komodo-dragon/32008-03-18T02:49:01+00:002008-03-18T02:49:01+00:00Arthur Spitzer
The Jong Company Proudly Presents:<br/>
Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Beige Easter"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Espayola, Net.Mexico --<br/>
<br/>
A beige gloved hand held the beige egg between the index finger and <br/>
thumb. "I wonder what kind of sick bastard does this. Beige! All of <br/>
them!" The gloved hand put the egg back into its beige carton filled <br/>
with eleven more eggs that were a similar color.<br/>
...
LNH: Possum-Man: Relinquished #5: Lady of the Manorhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/possum-man--relinquished/52008-03-08T11:08:43+00:002008-03-08T11:08:43+00:00Tarq
<p>~ * PREVIOUSLY IN POSSUM-MAN: RELINQUISHED... * ~</p>
<p>It's been weeks since STICKS TARQCHEVSKISON's apartment was ruined
after a fight with the infamous GREEN-ON-BLACK which revolved around
Sticks' flatmate, STONES. As the moderately courageous POSSUM-MAN,
Sticks was able to best Green-on-Black, as well as his net.villain
companions THE WHITE BOOMER and DUCK McMUCK. Working alongside police
officer HANK, Pos apprehended the criminals and saved his friends
lives, including the life of MONICA JADE, his ex-girlfriend who had
just returned from Ame.rec.a.</p>
<p>We now return to the story as Sticks, a party-clown-for-hire by day,
attends and performs at Monica's housewarming party...</p>
<p>----=== {PM} ===----
...</p>